So this week I will be going to my best friend's wedding. HE was my first true friend when I was ripped from the comfort of my concrete haven of Brooklyn, to the unknown suburbs of Long Island. From that one drama class at Nassau Community College back in 2000, he has grown to be one of my most cherished friendships. This milestone is making me look at all my friendships and connections I've made in my life. The web of people I have met in my life through jobs, trips and random circumstances have shaped me. And in that reflection, I see those friends that are in the rear view mirror. The friends that get lost from time, distance or misunderstanding. As our lives grow and evolve we see that some friends are for lifetime and some are for a season, the key to know how to identify who's who.
When we are younger we cling on to our friendship for identify, comfort and guidance. We have our friends from school, camp, dance school, church and etc. As we get older and get into our grown up lives our friendships stem from college, work, vacations and through shifts in life such as marriage and babies. With all these connections, one is bound to lose a few friends along the way. However, that may not be a bad thing. If you really take the time, you will notice the role each friendship plays or played in your life at certain points in you life.
I've been fortunate enough in my life to have wonderful friends. Even when you don't talk for a while the connection is still very strong. But then there are friends that only lasted a season. The season of Spring break, I would roll with the same crew. We were loud, wild and full of energy that lead to situations and experiences that I would NEVER share with my Mom. But the friendships weren't substantial enough to be long term. Although we had our fun, there wasn't enough to keep us connected, which I had to find out the hard way. With each major transition of my life like jobs and school, have made connections with people that have exposed me to new things and impacted my world. These connections although they may have only lasted the length of my employment or a couple of semesters, have helped to shape me. Even when those people were doing something I didn't do myself, watching them taught me an aspect of life I needed to know.
Some friends are in your life to teach lessons. Some are to expand your view of the world. Some friends are there to get you drunk when you just need to let loose. Some friends are there to listen to you complain about your annoying boss. And then there are the friends that can refill your spirit in time of immense pain and sorrow. Its important to understand not every friend is for everything in your life. Its not a bad, thing is just a fact of life.
So I say all this to say, tell your friends you love them. Without them you wouldn't be who you are. They may not be perfect but they are all yours and the time you have had together is significant. And when you think about former friendships, even the ones that ended poorly, smile. That person made an impact, it just wasn't meant to be forever. You had good times till they weren't and you are in a good place now without them. Let go of any animosity attached to those people, cause it wasted energy to could be sharing with your true friends. Until next time.......
Miss Amina Diva
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Questioning of Generation WTF?!
As some of you know, I am an English teacher. This is my seventh year and over time, working with teenagers has been a challenge. When I taught high school, there would be students that would try to test my patience, but the overall majority were hard working and respectful. Over the years, I've seen and stayed connected to former students that are thriving. Those students were only about four to six years removed from when I had them. But, I always felt like they were great kids and hoped to have kids of my own just like them.
However, in the past three years, I have noticed a significant shift in the teenage population. Aside from the suburban district I work in, I have noticed how most teenagers behave and view the world. From the Mall to restaurants, I just feel like they are all running a damn muck. They are cursing loudly, with half their ass hanging out, texting and just being a public annoyance. I shutter to think I've become like those older adults that shake their fist at the "young whippersnappers." cause I'm not that much older. But the reality is that these teenagers are rude, self absorbed, disrespectful, lazy, cruel and lack character. When I was that age I had my fun but this is something else. And because of this I have dubbed them "Generation WTF?!"
In the early nineties there was Generation X, all suped up on overpriced coffee and the yuppie lifestyle which was a gift from the Baby Boomer generation. Then there is Generation Y, where the proliferation of communication exploded because of the internet and cell phones which changed the way we interacted with world. But what of this generation? These teens have access to the world generations before never had. They acquire and share EVERYTHING without a thought, with a click of a button. They are constantly pulled in to each other but completely oblivious to the real world. How did this happen? Why did this happen?
During lunch, me and the girls at work talk about our students and how clueless they, which in itself is annoying. Although our biggest complaint is the lack of respect with their slick talk, the ironic part is that these are biggest groups of sissys EVER! Their parents fight every low grade despite the fact it was earned, or a punishment for bad behavior cause their kids feelings were hurt. LIKE REALLY? WTF?!?! They come to school to just socialize and get pissed off if WE interrupt THEM! They ask me questions like " Why do we have to take English?" I usually pause to gain composure and then reply "Because you speak English..." When did it become acceptable to even talk back to a teacher? Have these children no fear of what their parent might do or say? Have they no shame and want to embarrass themselves? Based on what we all see, we know the answers to these questions. But how did we get here? What happened at the turn of the millennium that our American teenagers are a damn mess?!
Yea there is "Jersey Shore" and that is a disaster but they are all adults they can do what they please. But our teens are seeing and doing things they aren't ready for. Not like doing things beyond your years is new, but the access to what can be experienced has grown. There has been a lot of controversy about the new show on MTV called "Skins." The first episode showed spoiled pampered rich kids humping all over the place and selling drugs. MTV says it a show that shows the real problem of teenagers in America today. Like really? Are u saying having poor self esteem cause your rich parents are taking too many prescription pills to notice you is a pressing issue for ALL the youth? Now when I was a kid, I was not allowed to watch "Beverly Hills 90210" because of the subject manner, but nothing like what is been showed on this show compares. There was a kiddie porn warning because the next episode will show a "17 year old" boy's bare ass on screen. Like really WTF?! What need is something like that fulfilling for our country?
You really want to show the problems of the American teenager, then show them at the unemployment line after they get out of high school because the jobs they qualify for are overseas now. Or how about showing someone getting an AIDS diagnosis. Or the Cool Kids at the funerals of the friends they had that have died of drug overdoses. Or parents homes foreclosing and the kids living in a state of flux. There are so many more important issues, yet our kids aren't getting it. They are living in their social bubble with no desire to move beyond it. And nobody at home is leading them that direction either because they are too tried from working to get that new iPad to shut them up or bribe them to do better in school. Or the parents are right next to them trying to get a do over for their own teen years. Although this is rant about some of my students, it is also meant to vent the frustration in knowing our collective futures are suppose to be left in the hand of these teenager once they become adults. That prospect is a scary one cause I don't know if Generation WTF?! is up to the task...
Till next time.....
Miss Amina Diva
However, in the past three years, I have noticed a significant shift in the teenage population. Aside from the suburban district I work in, I have noticed how most teenagers behave and view the world. From the Mall to restaurants, I just feel like they are all running a damn muck. They are cursing loudly, with half their ass hanging out, texting and just being a public annoyance. I shutter to think I've become like those older adults that shake their fist at the "young whippersnappers." cause I'm not that much older. But the reality is that these teenagers are rude, self absorbed, disrespectful, lazy, cruel and lack character. When I was that age I had my fun but this is something else. And because of this I have dubbed them "Generation WTF?!"
In the early nineties there was Generation X, all suped up on overpriced coffee and the yuppie lifestyle which was a gift from the Baby Boomer generation. Then there is Generation Y, where the proliferation of communication exploded because of the internet and cell phones which changed the way we interacted with world. But what of this generation? These teens have access to the world generations before never had. They acquire and share EVERYTHING without a thought, with a click of a button. They are constantly pulled in to each other but completely oblivious to the real world. How did this happen? Why did this happen?
During lunch, me and the girls at work talk about our students and how clueless they, which in itself is annoying. Although our biggest complaint is the lack of respect with their slick talk, the ironic part is that these are biggest groups of sissys EVER! Their parents fight every low grade despite the fact it was earned, or a punishment for bad behavior cause their kids feelings were hurt. LIKE REALLY? WTF?!?! They come to school to just socialize and get pissed off if WE interrupt THEM! They ask me questions like " Why do we have to take English?" I usually pause to gain composure and then reply "Because you speak English..." When did it become acceptable to even talk back to a teacher? Have these children no fear of what their parent might do or say? Have they no shame and want to embarrass themselves? Based on what we all see, we know the answers to these questions. But how did we get here? What happened at the turn of the millennium that our American teenagers are a damn mess?!
Yea there is "Jersey Shore" and that is a disaster but they are all adults they can do what they please. But our teens are seeing and doing things they aren't ready for. Not like doing things beyond your years is new, but the access to what can be experienced has grown. There has been a lot of controversy about the new show on MTV called "Skins." The first episode showed spoiled pampered rich kids humping all over the place and selling drugs. MTV says it a show that shows the real problem of teenagers in America today. Like really? Are u saying having poor self esteem cause your rich parents are taking too many prescription pills to notice you is a pressing issue for ALL the youth? Now when I was a kid, I was not allowed to watch "Beverly Hills 90210" because of the subject manner, but nothing like what is been showed on this show compares. There was a kiddie porn warning because the next episode will show a "17 year old" boy's bare ass on screen. Like really WTF?! What need is something like that fulfilling for our country?
You really want to show the problems of the American teenager, then show them at the unemployment line after they get out of high school because the jobs they qualify for are overseas now. Or how about showing someone getting an AIDS diagnosis. Or the Cool Kids at the funerals of the friends they had that have died of drug overdoses. Or parents homes foreclosing and the kids living in a state of flux. There are so many more important issues, yet our kids aren't getting it. They are living in their social bubble with no desire to move beyond it. And nobody at home is leading them that direction either because they are too tried from working to get that new iPad to shut them up or bribe them to do better in school. Or the parents are right next to them trying to get a do over for their own teen years. Although this is rant about some of my students, it is also meant to vent the frustration in knowing our collective futures are suppose to be left in the hand of these teenager once they become adults. That prospect is a scary one cause I don't know if Generation WTF?! is up to the task...
Till next time.....
Miss Amina Diva
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
The Act of Dreaming
The other day, I braved the trenches of Target on a Sunday, to pickup a few things. And as I was dodging children and way ward shopping carts a plaque caught my eye. First, because it was on sale for $2.98 but secondly because of it message.
"To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act" -Anatoie France
This got me thinking about what it is to dream. When we are young, we have dreams that seem grandiose and far fetched. My dream was to be an actress/singer/ dancer. I wanted to be famous and entertain the world. I took acting, singing and dance lessons. I even went to a performing arts middle school with plans to head to a the famed Laguardia High School, the school the movie "Fame" is based on. But, my parents shut that down and told me I needed to think bigger and choose a path that had a more solid future. And I was devastated. I thought my life was going to be over once the lessons stopped and I could no longer become the star I always wanted to be. So, I moved on and got my education and became a teacher. A solid and stable career that I do love even when there are days that make me question my impact. But I often ask myself, is there more? Can I be more? Do more?
As we move into adulthood, something happens to our dreams. We seem to no longer think in grand visions for our future. Once we settle into our routines of work, family, and friends we seem to lose that audacity to move beyond the limitations that we think exist. Now of course there are certain dreams that may have a slim chance of reaching just based on circumstances. Like I know I can't be the next Beyonce at 30 years old. But the key is to keep dreaming. No one says you have the keep the same dreams throughout your whole life. There is nothing stopping you for creating new dreams. My girlfriend wants to write a children's book, now that she is a mother. A friend of mine struggled for years to become a solo recording artist, but is now a award winning songwriter and is happy and satisfied with his success.
The true difference between the dreams of our youth and ones we create in our adulthood is the power to make it happen. The dream is the easy part once you allow yourself to do so. For once, allow yourself to really think about what you want. Whether it is a new business, a dream vacation, or build your dream home, the decision to make it happen is just the first step. A plan of action is all you need at this point in your life to bring your dream to fruition. The greatness you want in your life can be yours.
And if you are reading this and think to yourself this is a bunch of bull, consider this. At one point in this country it was unfathomable that woman would be able to vote, or that African Americans would have the chance to know true equality until the actions of people like Martin Luther King Jr. All of these shifts in history all started with a dream followed by the force of unwavering action. Who's to say that your dream can't do the same. Until the next time.....
Miss Amina Diva
"To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act" -Anatoie France
This got me thinking about what it is to dream. When we are young, we have dreams that seem grandiose and far fetched. My dream was to be an actress/singer/ dancer. I wanted to be famous and entertain the world. I took acting, singing and dance lessons. I even went to a performing arts middle school with plans to head to a the famed Laguardia High School, the school the movie "Fame" is based on. But, my parents shut that down and told me I needed to think bigger and choose a path that had a more solid future. And I was devastated. I thought my life was going to be over once the lessons stopped and I could no longer become the star I always wanted to be. So, I moved on and got my education and became a teacher. A solid and stable career that I do love even when there are days that make me question my impact. But I often ask myself, is there more? Can I be more? Do more?
As we move into adulthood, something happens to our dreams. We seem to no longer think in grand visions for our future. Once we settle into our routines of work, family, and friends we seem to lose that audacity to move beyond the limitations that we think exist. Now of course there are certain dreams that may have a slim chance of reaching just based on circumstances. Like I know I can't be the next Beyonce at 30 years old. But the key is to keep dreaming. No one says you have the keep the same dreams throughout your whole life. There is nothing stopping you for creating new dreams. My girlfriend wants to write a children's book, now that she is a mother. A friend of mine struggled for years to become a solo recording artist, but is now a award winning songwriter and is happy and satisfied with his success.
The true difference between the dreams of our youth and ones we create in our adulthood is the power to make it happen. The dream is the easy part once you allow yourself to do so. For once, allow yourself to really think about what you want. Whether it is a new business, a dream vacation, or build your dream home, the decision to make it happen is just the first step. A plan of action is all you need at this point in your life to bring your dream to fruition. The greatness you want in your life can be yours.
And if you are reading this and think to yourself this is a bunch of bull, consider this. At one point in this country it was unfathomable that woman would be able to vote, or that African Americans would have the chance to know true equality until the actions of people like Martin Luther King Jr. All of these shifts in history all started with a dream followed by the force of unwavering action. Who's to say that your dream can't do the same. Until the next time.....
Miss Amina Diva
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Why 30 is NOT the new 20!
Today is officially day three of being thirty and I'm feeling really good. I had a great day with family and friends on my actual birthday. And my hangover the next day didn't leave me completely out of commission. So this morning when I woke up and hit the gym I was at ease and happy that this phase is starting off so well. But then I began to think about how people have said that "30 is the new 20" and it irked me a bit.
It's no secret that we are a society that worships youth and beauty. In your twenties, your skin is beautiful, cellulite isn't in your vocabulary and you have energy enough to go to school, work and the club without taking a nap in between. Yeah, I get it, youth has its advantages. But think about your twenties. Think about all the craziness you endure based on sheer ignorance. You didn't know any damn better and that why you did some of the crazy things you did. Here are some reasons you can be thankful that you aren't in your twenties anymore:
1. You understand the importance of controlling your own crazy
You know how when your boyfriend would act up, you'd stalk his life till you got some answers? That is typical, "normal" behavior in your twenties. Calling ten times in a row, leaving psycho voicemails, or investigating his friends and associates. In our youth we are so willing to hold on to people, regardless of how unhealthy the relationship might be. In your thirties, you don't have time for that bullsh@%! You have a job and health insurance to pay for! Yeah, people in your life may upset you but you don't have the time or energy to dwell and become overwhelmed when they disappoint you. You letting go of drama is a skill only acquired through time and experience.
2. The risk factor decrease DRAMATICALLY
When I reflect on my twenties, I often think about the risks I took with my life. Think about all the times you were in a situation that if one factor had been different, you may not be on this Earth. The time you were in the car with the drunk driver, or when you were participating is shady dealing with shady people. Or how about the crazy Spring Break in which you woke up and forgot where you were. We've all been there at least once. I used to race my Civic in and out of traffic on the Southern State, like I was Speedracer. It took me a while to realize that is a stupid way to die. As you get older you cherish what you have more and know it not worth losing. That level of appreciation doesn't exist in you twenties in the same way as it does in your thirties.
3. I can call myself a woman and know its true
Remember when you turned eighteen and you were like"Yay! I'm an adult!" And then you turned twenty one and was like "Yay! I'm really an adult, cause I can drink!" Now, at this point in life I look at myself and my friends throughout my life and see how far we've come. How the experiences and knowledge that we've acquired has changed us for the better. We are more aware, confident and fulfilled. Is life perfect? Nope. But the way I feel in my body (regardless of the bumps and lumps), I am so happy not to be the girl that I was. I so glad the girl that I was has grown and mature into a woman of purpose. I appreciate my family, my education, my friends and the various trials and tribulations. These factors have shaped me and I am thankful to be here and still standing.
So to my sisters out there in their thirties, evaluating their cellulite, lines on their faces, and feel exhausted after a long day at the office, you should smile. There are so many people that didn't make it to where you are now. So don't lust for your lost youth. Because as my seventy year old neighbor Beverly told me:
"Your thirties are better because you are smarter than you were in your twenties."
Till the next time.......
Miss Amina Diva
It's no secret that we are a society that worships youth and beauty. In your twenties, your skin is beautiful, cellulite isn't in your vocabulary and you have energy enough to go to school, work and the club without taking a nap in between. Yeah, I get it, youth has its advantages. But think about your twenties. Think about all the craziness you endure based on sheer ignorance. You didn't know any damn better and that why you did some of the crazy things you did. Here are some reasons you can be thankful that you aren't in your twenties anymore:
1. You understand the importance of controlling your own crazy
You know how when your boyfriend would act up, you'd stalk his life till you got some answers? That is typical, "normal" behavior in your twenties. Calling ten times in a row, leaving psycho voicemails, or investigating his friends and associates. In our youth we are so willing to hold on to people, regardless of how unhealthy the relationship might be. In your thirties, you don't have time for that bullsh@%! You have a job and health insurance to pay for! Yeah, people in your life may upset you but you don't have the time or energy to dwell and become overwhelmed when they disappoint you. You letting go of drama is a skill only acquired through time and experience.
2. The risk factor decrease DRAMATICALLY
When I reflect on my twenties, I often think about the risks I took with my life. Think about all the times you were in a situation that if one factor had been different, you may not be on this Earth. The time you were in the car with the drunk driver, or when you were participating is shady dealing with shady people. Or how about the crazy Spring Break in which you woke up and forgot where you were. We've all been there at least once. I used to race my Civic in and out of traffic on the Southern State, like I was Speedracer. It took me a while to realize that is a stupid way to die. As you get older you cherish what you have more and know it not worth losing. That level of appreciation doesn't exist in you twenties in the same way as it does in your thirties.
3. I can call myself a woman and know its true
Remember when you turned eighteen and you were like"Yay! I'm an adult!" And then you turned twenty one and was like "Yay! I'm really an adult, cause I can drink!" Now, at this point in life I look at myself and my friends throughout my life and see how far we've come. How the experiences and knowledge that we've acquired has changed us for the better. We are more aware, confident and fulfilled. Is life perfect? Nope. But the way I feel in my body (regardless of the bumps and lumps), I am so happy not to be the girl that I was. I so glad the girl that I was has grown and mature into a woman of purpose. I appreciate my family, my education, my friends and the various trials and tribulations. These factors have shaped me and I am thankful to be here and still standing.
So to my sisters out there in their thirties, evaluating their cellulite, lines on their faces, and feel exhausted after a long day at the office, you should smile. There are so many people that didn't make it to where you are now. So don't lust for your lost youth. Because as my seventy year old neighbor Beverly told me:
"Your thirties are better because you are smarter than you were in your twenties."
Till the next time.......
Miss Amina Diva
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